F.D.A. Approved

Every day I take a little speed

I find that it helps to motivate me 

And whenever my stress gets out of hand

That's when I down some Diazepam 

But you don’t got to worry about these drugs I do

Cause they've all been FDA Approved

And whenever I think back on all the coke I used to do 

Man, I must have snorted half of Peru

And I used to smoke so much weed

Sober felt like being high to me

But now I’m a good Samaritan through and through

All my highs have been FDA Approved

My parents used to think that I had a problem

All my friends were so sure I had hit rock bottom

But now they just sigh and say I'm doin' fine 

Who knew you could be high and still walk the line?

Oh but you can, you can, the minute you choose

Drugs that have been FDA Approved

Back in the day when I'd take a puff of haze

It would always end with me in handcuffs getting hauled away 

But if you don’t want the Law to throw you into prison 

You better show 'em cops that your pot comes with a prescription

Oh, you can have your cake and sell it to buy drugs too 

Just as long as those drugs have been FDA Approved

And now that I'm finally back to being a member of society

Certain things are required of me

If I jump off a ledge, I better land on my head

Cause suicide’s a crime if you don’t wind up dead

And my body, well, it ain’t mine to abuse

Not until the abuse has been FDA Approved